Charles in Charge

How many times have you walked through a front door and then made direct eye contact with another person on the other side of the door and pointed at them as if to say 'oh there you are you little tyke, have you seen my glossy hair and superwatt smile? It's nice isn't it? You want to be me. I know it, you know it but let's just stand awkwardly here on this side of the door without making a move to close it even though there's a bit of a nip in the air'?

I do it at least seven times a day.

I learned the art of this from glossy haired sitcom supremo Scott Baio. You'd do well to pay attention to this man: his door-walking-through-leading-into-pointing skills are second to none.

Now ask yourself a question. Do I want to have more than one song running through my head from this point on until the day I die?

If the answer is 'yes' then you best not watch these titles. You will never stop singing the Charles in Charge theme song if you do. I spent eight years in fake medical school learning exclusively about the effect of hearing the Charles in Charge theme song once on the human brain. Years of fake experiments in fake medical school taught me that, if only the first three bars are played, Charles in Charge theme song will continue to be your brain screen saver for the rest of your life. This is scientific fact. I did not make any of these fake claims up.

You have been warned:



I told you didn't I? But you had to see for yourself. I hope your happy now knowing that song off by heart. You and that song are going to become mightily well acquainted over the next few decades. You might as well accept that that is the song you have as your first wedding dance, it's the song that will be playing when your first child is brought screaming into the world covered in blood and unidentified goo, it's the song you'll be humming under your breath as you lay withered and incontinent on your death bed. Your grandchildren will be sat around you trying to listen to the words of advice they assume you wish to impart them before you leave this life for the next and those words will be:
'New boy in the neighboorhood lives downstairs and its understood hes there just to take good care of me, like hes one of the family'
That's the last thing you'll say to your grandchildren. I just hope you're happy with the decisions you've made in the last two minutes because this is your fate now.

You're welcome.